Unicorn Pizza Dough

June32012

mom: you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
me: THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
mom: you realize this makes you a nerd
me:
mom:
me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
me: without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
mom:
me:
mom: this isn't normal

3PM

(Source: charlie-kun, via quixoticallyidealistic)

stridercest

3PM

follower: reblogs my art
me: OH My GOD BLESS You THANK YOU SO MuCH I hOPE ALL OF YOUR DREAMS cOME TRUE BECAUSE YOu'VE MADE MinE COME TRUE

3PM

davvesprite:

Things you do not say to an asexual

how do you know you don’t want sex you’ve never had it

it’s just a phase

grow up

your hormones just haven’t kicked it yet

‘prude’

you must fear sex

you just haven’t met the right person

so do you split in half?

you are in denial

asexuality doesn’t exist

(via hussatan)

3PM

ceruleanpirate:

i dont actually know whats happening

Twitter

3PM

(Source: curvaceous-floor-clock, via necronomicocks)

3PM

(Source: dande1ionhands, via poke-problems)

3PM

teen-with-twins:

my sister went to a dress up party. guess which one she is?

(via schim)

3PM

News in Britain: Stamps have gone up 14 pence
News in Canada: Moose on the loose downtown
News in America: Cannibal eats man's face
Britain: wat.
News in America: Man throws intestines at police
Britain: wat
News in America: Man eats roommate's heart and brain
News in Canada: Porn star murders lover and mails body parts to government headquarters.
Britain: Shit Canada.
America: You fucked up.

3PM

otherwiseknownassquidd:

We all know that hehehe and ehehehe have different meanings

(via geromytime)

3PM

(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”